Things People Don’t Know About Me (not all the things)

Two New Years Eves in a row, I lost a $20 bill in a cab

I was once given the deed to a square inch of the Moon.

I have a certificate from Worm University, and for a while actually tended a worm farm and harvested the poop to enrich the garden.

I took 4 years of Latin and 6 years of French – in the public school system.

When I got mugged in Venice CA, my tape cassette machine was playing “Jungle Land.”

I once slow-danced with a very short man whose hard-on repeatedly bumped against my knee.

I once fast-danced with a Down Syndrome guy.

For more than 25 years, I’ve kept my clothes in a cardboard chest-of-drawers that a woman gave me when she relocated to Alaska for the sake of love.

I did Kirlian photography with a kit from Edmund Scientific.

At age 8, I had a broken finger for 9 days before being taken to doctor.

I once sat for many dark hours at a kitchen table clutching a large knife.

My paintings have been in 20 group shows (including a juried national show) and 8 one-person shows.

I’ve been drunk three times, and recall in hideous detail how each time proved that booze is not my jam.

I saw and heard Willie Nelson and his band – from just a few feet away — at Floore’s Country Store.

At age 21, I was accepted into Mensa.

My second ex-husband and his friend shot a game of pool to see which one would go home with me one night.

In seven consecutive grades, I was awarded pins for perfect Sunday School attendance. (Later stolen by a burglar.Sunday school pin

One of my short stories was published in Choppers magazine.

I sold my mother’s engagement ring, and also a good watch that some guy gave me.

I lived in a house with two kids and a man who kept a loaded gun under his pillow, and he was blind.

Trygve Bauge stored his grandpa’s corpse in a freezer, which led to the annual Frozen Dead Guy Days festival in Nederland, Colorado. Before he was deported, I met him once.

I moved to California with the intention of training to become a sex surrogate. Yes, that was a legitimate profession. Maybe still is.

In the high school orchestra I played first stand violin.

I was in group therapy with the mother of a guy I occasionally hooked up with.

I spent 7 years mentally and emotionally enthralled by a man I never met in person.

Back in 1969 I flipped a table in a very cinematically dramatic way, and made an angry mess.

My first son-in-law was connected with the Wu Tang Clan.

My second husband married me so his grandma could die happy.

I have five portraits of me, done by two different artists, and there used to be more.

In the home office of a man with brain cancer, I covered one wall with a mural in colors recommended by a healer.

Taken all together, my contributions to the original Hite Report made up about 6 pages of the book.

I took a course called Silva Mind Control.

I stole something from the FBI. (Surely, the statute of limitations has expired. Besides, I no longer have it.)

For a while, I took belly dance lessons.

Once I picked up David Carradine’s hitchhiking daughter, and later had the chance to tell him that.

When falling asleep as a child, and with no preconception of how a celestial chorus was supposed to sound, I sometimes heard an angel choir.

Many times, I stood with one foot on either side of an international border.

The community college I attended was housed in an old elementary school, a Ramada Inn, and the former Shredded Wheat Company headquarters.

In group therapy, I was designated most intimidating.

I’ve owned only two cars, and worked on them both. I’ve replaced three alternators, a water pump, and a whole lot of oil and spark plugs. And patched a gas tank.

I ghostwrote a political article published in Hustler magazine. (They pay great.)

I can set my brain to wake me up at a certain time.

My second son-in-law was killed by an unlicensed, underage, uninsured drunk driver.

I was once deemed an honorary (n-word).

On KCRW radio I did an interview in the character of erotica writer Felice Jordan.

Like comedian Ari Shaffir, I once took a dump in Griffith Park.

For a former Hells Angel who is serving a life sentence, I maintain a website.

I used to make X-rated cookies. Some were bought by the owner of a shop called Debbie Duz Donuts. Some were served at a meet&greet with a presidential candidate.

One night I got away with driving 40 miles of freeway, criminally drunk.

I tried an isolation tank, at what I believe was the first float-tank establishment ever to open in Los Angeles.

I shared an elevator ride alone with Arnold Schwarzenegger (and was not molested.)

The third time I got married, a guest brought her pet snake to the wedding.

As a grownup, I was scolded by another adult for something I said out loud in a restaurant. (The offending word was “abatement.”)

My only car accident was right at the entrance to Santa Monica Pier.

I helped Ace Backwords publish one of his books, Acid Heroes.

I went to Assertiveness Training.

I worked for a show business professional who had worked with Charlie Chaplin. Shook hands with this person who had shaken hands with Chaplin. Two degrees of separation. That blows my mind.

Also, I met someone who had known Duncan Grant. Few things in life have thrilled me to such an extent.

More than once, a guy drove from Odessa to San Antonio just to see me. That’s an almost 700-mile round trip.

I believe that women can be pricks and men can be cunts.

I have anniversaries that mean a lot to me. They’re just not the same ones you celebrate.

There are very few people whose company I enjoy as much as my own. And only a couple of people I care about being famous to, and one of them is dead.

I knew a man who backed a truck over (and killed) his two-year-old son.

In my teens, favorite radio was the Buffalo R&B station WUFO.

I knew somebody who was later on Howard Stern’s show.

When West Side Story hit the theaters, the piano teacher let me choose its songbook for my lessons.

In my teens, my literary heroes were James Baldwin and Lenny Bruce.

I was told more than once, by subjects I profiled, that it was the most interesting interview they ever had.

As a kid I listened repeatedly to Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto #1 in B Flat Minor.

I knew a blind vet who, one Halloween, removed his prosthetic eyes and, with empty sockets, answered the door to trick-or-treaters.

I was invited join a cult in Brownsville, Texas, who were building a landing pad for the spaceship that Jesus would return in.

I was once forced to learn the team sports song “Buckle Down, Winsocki.”

I met a man whose wife and girlfriend had babies on the same day, both his.

As a “tween” I was allowed to join choir practice at my girlfriend’s church, even though I couldn’t show up to sing on Sundays.

I find it in my heart and philosophical repertoire to defend Assata Shakur, the Branch Davidians, Bradley Smith, and a motley assortment of dissidents.

As a kid, I used to draw elaborate, complicated house plans. Not just a music room, no. A piano room, a violin room, a harp room…

I’m an est graduate, and still think it was the best $300 and two weekends I ever spent.

I knew a woman whose house was the set for the film Transamerica.

I made the National Junior Honor Society in middle school, the Honor Roll in high school, and the Dean’s List in college.

I have really good book-scout instincts.

I once learned a card game called Knucks.

When I was a kid, my cavities were drilled and filled without anesthetic, by a dentist who believed that children didn’t develop pain nerves until they were older.

I once participated in the effort to remove a pair of corrupt judges. It was successful, and extraordinarily satisfying.

My first pot dealer had lost a couple of fingers to a power saw, which did not faze any of his customers.

I knew somebody who had known Lenny Bruce.

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Hartman at Earthblog.net

Meatboy has his say

Added Jan 18, 2013 – The guy in this picture was right. No one ever goes again to Earthblog.net because it no longer exists. The website’s content producer, Marc Madow, died in August of 2012 .

If there is a link, it’s good, because the piece was republished somewhere else.

*****************

Cats or Crack?

The Hartman Report on the Special Prosecutor’s Report

Freedom: Day One

Is It Mark Fuhrman Time?

The Meloy Massacre

Counterculture Everlasting

My Philomene

Free Tim Masters Because

Show Me the Law     America, Freedom to Fascism

She Prob’ly Thinks This Rant is About Her

Lights… Camera… Freedom?…

Love’s Flaming Mattress

Sometimes We’d Rather Not Be Right

Happy Birthday Sad World

The Tragedy of Premature Divahood

For God’s Sake, Don’t Breathalyze the Judge!

Maori Meditations

The Last Day of America

America’s Third Parties – Wasted Votes or the Future of America?…

An Open Letter to Paris Hilton

What Would You Die For? (Bobby Sands, Irish hunger striker, pictured at right)

Online Auctions – Just Like Real Life

Free Speech Like it “Spose” to Be

Does Censorship Work?

Day 51 Revisited       Mt. Carmal aka “Waco”

Cruel April   (in The Libertarian Enterprise)

Your Amazing Super Power

Requiem for Harry Browne

Another Nail in the Free Speech Coffin

The Conspiracy to Circumcise

Bread and Media Circuses

Gifts   Give Us This Day – What?

Bootleg Bibles Passed Around the Playground?     Church and Public School

Why I Said No To Earthblog and Ended Up Saying Yes Anyway

 

The Sayonara Playlist

voodoo 3

 

In the unlikely event that any kind of memorial gathering should occur, here is the music I recommend, and copyright be damned. Not a problem, though, because like I said, my goodbye party will be more of a virtual event, and this is its soundtrack.

 

 

 

 

Witchitai-to
Jim Pepper

Sweet Release
Boz Scaggs

Galileo
Indigo Girls

The Great Divide
Joe Cocker

Presence of the Lord
Blind Faith

Land of Hope and Dreams
Bruce Springsteen

Heading for the Light
Traveling Wilburys

Rock and Roll Heaven
Righteous Brothers

 

P.S. Apologies for any out-of-date links. I’ll try to reach back from the beyond and fix them. Also, sorry about any ads. Even from the beyond, I doubt if they can be excised.

And the rest is history…

Steve O’Keefe is the incredibly prolific originator of many worthy projects and tirelessly enthusiastic promoter of other people’s admirable work. He also takes it to the next level by helping them make their creations better.

On July 4, I always remember our IRL meeting. Fortunately, posterity can also also tune in to that historic occasion, thanks to the piece Steve wrote about it for the International Association of Online Communicators website.

The thing to know right now is, his latest invention is Continuous Improvement: The Newsletter of Orobora . A print edition is also available to subscribers, and it reminds me of Steve’s classy publication Piano from a few years back.

A meeting of great literary minds - Steve O'Keefe, Pat Hartman in Fort Collins, CO

A meeting of great literary minds –
Steve O’Keefe, Pat Hartman in Fort Collins, CO

P.S. The picture was taken by Jesse Vohs, quite an adorable human and techno-genius who was Steve’s accomplice on that road trip.

I Heart Joshua Tree

Joshua Tree is famous for free climbing, and as a setting for psychedelic experiences, which is another kind of free soloing. Mostly, it’s famous for music.

For me, Joshua Tree has been a never-ending source of inspiration, and led to the creation of several paintings, known as Joshua Tree Dreamings.

Here is a bunch of Joshua Tree music information, which is good as far as I know. Additions and corrections are welcome.

Entering Joshua Tree

Musicians Who Live or Have Lived at Joshua Tree:
This information is good as far as I know, but corrections are welcome.

Harriet Allen
Elia Arce
Rojer Arnold
Bingo Dream Band
Brant Bjork – founding member of Kyuss & Fu Manchu
Peter Blackstock
Steve “Dandy” Brown – Orquesta del Desierto sessions. “My wife and I had come to Joshua Tree when we first started dating… kept the town in our thoughts over the next few years, and we knew that at some point we wanted to live here. Bringing Orquestra to Rancho de la Luna has been one of the wisest production choices I’ve ever made.”
Eric Burdon – had a house here as early as 1968. In 2000, the “Rockin’ for Joshua Tree” Earth Day benefit concert in Palm Springs was against the Eagle Mountain Landfill
Fred Burke
Dave Catching
Robyn Celia
Dean Chamberlain – partner in Rancho de la Luna. Code Blue. Quit music to make films
Cockrobin
Dick Dale
Desert Sessions – began by Josh Homme in 1997
Donovan – spent much of the 1970s here
Fred Drake — (died in 2002) earthlings?
Steve Earle
earthlings?
Tim Easton – musician and painter
Shari Elf and the Fairy Elf Bandart queen
Bob Forrest
Buzz Gamble
Howe Gelb
Giant Sand
Golden Animal
Chris Goss – Masters of Reality, Stone Temple Pilots, Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss
Kristin Hersh – song “White Trash Moon” refers to childhood home near Joshua Tree
Josh Homme – Queens of the Stone Age
Honky Tonk Train
Deborah Iyall – Romeo Void
Duane Jarvis
Joshua Tree – U2 tribute band
Joshua Tree Didgeridoos
Joshua Tree Roots Festival
Kyuss
Mark Lanegan – Queens of the Stone Age
Brent Lewis – studio in Joshua Tree
Juke Logan
Shawn Mafia
Tony Mason
Robert Matsuda
Johnette Napolitano – moved herself and reunited Concrete Blonde to the desert and said “I specifically bought land that had Joshua trees on it.”
Mark Olson – Left the Jayhawks in 1995 to move to Joshua Tree. He didn’t work with Gary Louris again until 2001, when they got together at Olson’s desert home to write some songs. In 2005, Olson split up with wife Victoria Williams and left Joshua Tree
Orquesta del Desierto
Purple Mountain Matinee
Queens of the Stone AgeSongs for the Deaf is a concept album built around things heard on the radio on a journey to Joshua Tree
Kristina Quigley
Ted Quinn
Gram Rabbit
Steve Roach – “The Breathing Stone is about the Joshua Tree area. During my last five years in LA…increasing trips to the Joshua Tree desert gave me the recharging needed to live in LA. It was after my second trip to Australis that it got to the point of no returning. I just had to leave it all behind and go to the next edge, leaving the roar of the city for the roar of the silence I find in the desert.”
Mark Nishita Ramos – “At least once a month, I have to get away [from LA]. I have a place out by Joshua Tree where I can hit the reset button.”
Rancho de la Luna – single-level ranch house and recording studio. Some of the older Kyuss records, earthlings?
Kevin Richey – Bingo Band, Rancho de la Luna associate
Rim Rock Rhythm Pushers
Mike “Razz” Russell – Bass, violin, mandolin. With Mark Olson and Victoria Williams, shunned major labels and put out seven albums in seven years as the Original Harmony Ridge Creek Dippers.
SawtoothJoshua Tree CA
Shadow Mountain Band
Thrift Store All Stars
Jesika Von Rabbit
Dusty Wakeman – started Gramfest
Wild Ass Ranchers
Victoria Williams
Nancy Wilson
Wooden Nickel
Yard of Blondes
Jackie Young

Music Videos Shot All or Partly at Joshua Tree

Jessica Andrews “There’s More to Me Than You”
Paul Oakenfold “Starry Eyed Surprise”
Allison Moorer “Send Down an Angel”
Shelby Lynne “Run Away”
Zwan “Honestly”

untitled

Other Musicians Associated with Joshua Tree:

Tommy Aguilar (fictitious)
Bartenders Bible
Bauhaus
Frank Black
Byrds – have stayed at the Inn
Camper van Beethoven
Canned Heat
Captain Beefheart — in the Sixties, with Magic Band
John Carco
Concrete Blonde
Cracker
David Crosby – Desert Sessions
Cub
The Donnas
Greg Dray
The Duke Spirit
Eagles – have stayed at the Inn
Eagles of Death Metal
Nick El Dorado
Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster
Marianne Faithfull
Paul Finley
Freese
Golana – Native American flutist, considers himself a “rock sitter” and often composes out in nature at Joshua Tree
Chris Goss
Josh Grange
Dave Grohlhis talk with Marc Maron is one the grandest discoveries of the year
Emmylou Harris – Gram Parsons’ singing partner and now main keeper of his musical flame
PJ Harvey
Don Heffington
High or Hellwater
Itchy Pet
Alain Johannes
Blade Jones (fictitious)
“Sneaky” Pete Kleinow – of the Flying Burrito Brothers and many other creative endeavors. His memorial service was held at the Joshua Tree Retreat Center, Jan. 27, 2007
Boomer Lalli
Jim Lauderdale
Bernie Leadon – Eagles
Shelby Lynne
Samantha Maloney – Hole. Desert Sessions
Brendon McNicholl – Queens of the Stone Age
Murmers
Craig Nuttycombe
Van Dyke Parks
Gram Parsons – International Submarine Band, The Byrds and The Flying Burrito Brothers. Joshua Tree was where he wanted to be, alive or dead. Here he watched for UFOs and got close to the elemental forces of nature, and expressed a wish to be cremated at Joshua Tree. After his death his manager and another friend took custody of his body and did their best to fulfill that desire. The memorial plaque near Cap Rock says “Safe at Home,” and a yearly music fest is held at Joshua Tree in honor of Gram Parsons. A book of photos, called Joshua Tree, by Rudy VanderLans, is dedicated to Parsons.
Perfect
Robert Plant
Twiggy Ramirez – aka Jeordie White
Savoy Brown
Mike Stinson
Rolling Stones — (especially Keith Richards, who hung out with Gram Parsons and supposedly wrote “Sweet Virginia” at Joshua Tree)
Leon Russell
Tom Russell
Natasha Schneider
Sky Saxon and The Seeds
Xander Smith
Speedtwinn
The Spores
U2 – 1987 album named for Joshua Tree
Dean Ween
Clarence White
Lucinda Williams – her astonishing talk with Marc Maron
Witchita

rfjt_mic

Radio Free Joshua Tree — founded 12/12/12
“Joshua Tree” is the National Park, the village itself, the surrounding desert communities and a state of being, sought around the world. The mission of Radio Free Joshua Tree (RFJT) is to bring Joshua Tree to the World –and the World back to Joshua Tree — through the voices of its musicians, artists and poets; its elders and its youth. Rising out of a community rich in creativity and natural beauty, RFJT will focus first on the music inspired by or created in the desert, including work by those who pass through briefly, as well as those who have passed before us. RFJT will gather the many different voices that have found themselves in the desert, literally and metaphorically.

Desert Rats - Joshua Tree

Visit my paintings, the Joshua Tree Dreamings

Photos

Untitled by Egan Snow
Art Queen by jkracow
Desert Rats – Joshua Tree by Jared Eberhardt
Entering Joshua Tree by The Javelina
Leaving Joshua Tree by The Javelina
Joshua Tree CA by davecito

Leaving Joshua Tree